Saturday, January 21, 2012
im officially 23 years old. it is true when people say that time literally flies once u past 20. im feeling it now. hah.
the road to maturity is hmm rather bumpy but i survived it all. there are times where i really wanna give up trying, coping and be strong. im feeling it right now. the recent happenings had a rather huge impact on me with some that concerns me directly while others indirectly; because it concerns the people i care about therefore i feel for them. i admit im not a strong person. i know some would think that i dont cry easily but i do. im sentimental, emotional, sensitive and any other adjectives that describe one who cries easily. pardon for the lack of vocab:x frankly speaking, i dont how to handle and i feel that im not equipped enough to handle these. i want people around me to be happy, problemless or rather no huge problems that hog their brain day in day out. apparently it is not possible in this household.
home, is a place where one can seek solace from, a place where everyone else appreciates one another and just simply be happy about being together. i know my uncles and ah ma try hard to let me feel family warmth and honestly i can really feel it. i really appreciate all their effort in doing so! all these doesnt stay long. sth will always cropped up to ruin everything. maybe it is not as bad as it sounds. i guess i might have exaggerated it because im feeeling a bit upset.
i used to escape all these by staying in hall. there are a couple of reasons why i chose to withdraw from hall. sometimes it is best not to witness anything and be ignorant. it saves u from being upset, irritated, disappointed, disgusted etc.
i do miss hall life. i do miss cheer. sometimes i wonder if i quit cheer was really due to my back or i know that i wouldnt be useful in cheer. in short, a coward who quits knowing that i would just be standing at the sideline even if i tried. maybe i really am a coward. someone who is afraid that her ego might be crashed. sigh. sometimes i dont even know if i had made the right decisions. zz
actually my life isnt that bad either. not too long ago, a friend whom i hadnt contacted for a rather long time told me that im his good friend.i was honestly touched. i have friends who i hadnt met for a long while but we do not feel weird getting together to catch up. how many people gets that? i am sure not many. there are people who puts in a lot of effort in maintain relationships w people but they dont get friends like mine:D
after typing this whole lot makes me feel so much betterrrr. wahaha. alright, happy chinese new year people!(:
Posted by van at 7:57 PM
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Happy new year!!! This is my first post in 2012! Whee! I hope things will go well and I really pray that I can get a job!!! Heh
Posted by van at 4:16 AM