Wednesday, April 25, 2007
it is happening again. i duno why n i reali want to noe why?
aft trng ah ma called to tell me to news n i din wan to do anyting abt it. it's not that i do not care nor love him. it jus tat im TIRED of it. he's really eating everyone's life. ah ma was super worried n she kept asking me to call his gf n msg him. i din wan to do it at all. but for my ah ma's sake, i did. i cldnt get his gf nor him cos bth their hp were switched off. i msged him. he replied ard an hr later. he said that he's not coming tonight n tell the rest that he's fine. i tot he wld go to sch the next morning but apparently he din. and how do i noe that? my ah ma went to sch to look for him.
once again, she asked me to contact his gf. i msged her n she replied. she said that she doesnt noe where he is. WELL DONE. we can nv find him. i was quite affected by then but i was trying not to be. it was tough, really. i din wan to affect my play for the game today. took a bath aft sch b4 the game. i tried to calmed myself dwn n set the mood right. it worked but din last long. i got a call from my ah ma. i was vv pissed cos i reali do not want to affect my play n she had to call me at that time. i hung up the call b4 she finised. i feklt really bad aft tat n i called her bac. i tried toking to her nicely n asking her not to care abt him cos he is not some1 who is worthy of our love n care. she broke dwn. i joined her. i jus felt vv hopeless n feel like tking my life. if tking my life wld bring him bac to the right path i wld cos i dun wan to c dem sad n stressed up again. i dun wan my dad to do it again. i dun wan. does he understand n noe hw i feel n wat i truly want?
im sick n tired of this. spare me, will u?
Posted by van at 8:45 PM
Friday, April 20, 2007
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
Oh oh oh
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to youI'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
it's season.my last tournament for RAFFLES JUNIOR COLLEGE AND I WANT TO WIN.
itkindaremindedmeofsth.
U DISAPPOINT ME AGAIN
Posted by van at 1:56 PM
Saturday, April 14, 2007
genting trip cld be better if not for SOMEONE. U jus ruined my trip w ur STUPID frens n MINDSET. i seriously do not noe hw to help u.U gav up urself b4 ANYBODY else did. it's not like we cant/dun accept the fact that u cant study. all we wanted was tat u WORK HARD n get the grades u deserve.somehow, u REFUSED to. not oni did u refused to work hard, u CREATE troubles, unnecessay troubles i wld say. dont u NOE whenever u r NOT hm n NOT CONTACTABLE, do things which u NOE U SHLDNT BE DOING, u turn the house UPSIDE DOWN? tel me, wat do u wan from us? freedom? u threw away the freedom u used to hav not us. u CHOOSE the path URSELF. u hav NO one to blame except for URSELF. i've warned u that ur hair colour is too obvious. not oni that u DIDNT u darken it, u made it EVEN MORE OBVIOUS. well done. u jus threw urself into a dark hole w tat simple act n screwed mentality. STOP comparing urself w OTHERS. so wat if other ppl in sch dye their hair? is it any of ur busniess?!does it mean tat when ppl do it means u hav to do it? if tat's the case, y cant u follow the MUGGERS in ur sch? I HATE U! I HATE U FOR BEING U! I HATE U FOR MAKING PPL IN THE FAMILY WORRy n BLOOD BOIL. r u waiting for the "i shldnt hav done......" n "i shld hav..."to haunt u? i assure u that u will lament ur insensible, infantile n thoughtless acts.
enuff of tat shit. i went to tk doc on mon to tk out the stitches. i went to the same clinic but a different doc attended to me. he asked if the stitch was 1 or 2 stitch. i told him that the doc who thinks that im oni a ten yr old kid said it's 1 stitch. anw he went on n removed those stitches n was like see two knots=two stitches. okay FINE.TWO BLOODY STITCHES DEN. tis is the worse injury i hav nv gotten since i start playing the game called HOCKEY. the doc gav me 1 week mc fearing that the wound may tear apart n asked me not to let my "wound" come in contact from water. i tot aft removing it, i bathe normally but it comes out tat i CANT. i tanhan for days n broke it on thurs. i actually went running for 15min(:
i had frenly ytd. i played w/o my guards. i played center mid n i almost died. i felt kinda awkward.zzz. i was flat-footed so players can beat me easily which shldnt be the case. zzz. i nid to get bac soon or rather NOW! MY FIRST MATCH IS ON MON!
unbearing amt of workload is killing me n is waiting for me. i hav to go.
c'mon.find ur form bac.play like u nv did.
Posted by van at 12:22 PM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
hello!!
i'll be enjoying myself over the weekends as i'll be going to genting tis fri!!!YAY.it's my 1st eva family holiday!!:D
1st match is on the 16th april against mi in tp @ 3.
i got 1 stitch on my head behind my ear so no physical activity for a week.WELL DONE.im happpy.(:
Posted by van at 2:20 PM