Thursday, December 24, 2009
its christmas eve. i was supposed to be out w bel n gang. i wanted so much to tk the hippo to see the lightings. oh well sth cropped out. nvm. like ive said christmas is jus an excuse or reason for ppl to meet up or couples to hang out. it is also a time where u will see manymany couples hanging out tgt. when i was w him i wanted to spend christmas w him. he said we also dun celebrate christmas. he goes out w his frens. zz. whatever man.
anw enter bliss for the first time aft sooooo long. i didnt wan to make things even more troublesome for my frens so i kept quiet. it was really hmm a vvvv bad experience. i dun exactly feel vvv gd there. it jus reminded me sooooo much of us. i love him still.so frens pls dun ever ask me to bliss, the cathay, fort canning, ecp, mount faber, flyer, newyr countdown, jack sth and the chocolate place at esplanade.... i think theres more but i cannot rmb.
sometimes i wished that i nv knew you but if i nv did i wld nv know hw does it feel to be in love w someone. thank you.
Posted by van at 8:33 PM
booo. been a long time ya? ih has kicked it last tues. one week of ih has passed and we are in the middle of the 2nd week. im freaking tired. i struggled to wake myself up, standing under the hot Sun, anticipate the change in weather, meeting, slp late n the cycle continues for every single day. actually i dun hav meeting everyday for this week. heh. niceee(:
i was PEEEEEELING on the 2nd day. i think it was due to the super kind Sun during waterpolo. the Sun killed me n my skin. i have nice senior who bought sunblock w spf 130 for me. previously i hav been using spf 70. based on wat happened to me on the 2nd day, the sunblock w spf 70 is rendered USELESS. omg.
i have stopped peeling ever since i started using moisturizer n alovera. im still super tan tho. paulus saw me and exclaimed hw much darker i was compared to him last yr. idiot.
i have been put on a rather interesting ride since ih has started. i had times where i struggled to look for players, putting myself as a suicider of the match; trying new sports. oh i learnt tennis! AWWWW. i love it.
my partner is nice. he gives me time off to meet my frens n attend hengyi's birthday party. heh. thanks yussuf.
i came back home ytd afternoon. i kept falling aslp. i went to my maternal grandmother's place for buffet and tangyuan. today was xmas dinner at bliss, a place gh n i always frequent. zz. i was a lil emotional. i really miss him alot. he was my best fren. how can i not miss him? i duno how long this will last but im quite certain that i will quite a long awhile. anw im meeting bel tml night and porky fri afternoon.
before i end off, i would like to thank all those who has been hlping me w ih namely porky, yuehong, yussuf, yuehao, gab etc.
OHH I FREAKING LOST MY GREEEN WATERBOTTLE!:(
Posted by van at 12:00 AM
Saturday, December 05, 2009
exam ended on
thurs n i went to
meeeet qing n gang. i was
vvvv tired that day. all i wanted to do was to
slppppp!
hahaha.
jcrc work started straight aft my papers. i wan to
nuaaa!
omg.
nono i cant. i need to shed the kilos that i
hav gained aft being inactive for a good 6
mths! i wan to look
gd on my 211st and of cos be fit for my last under21 tournament!
HAHA(:
ANW, finally put a stop to whatever that had been affecting me. i
jus cannot stand how he
had been treating me. aft one month of not toking he suddenly came to
tok to me. by then, i was
alot more emotionally stable tho i did cry while chatting w him on
msn. aft that i
wasnt grieving
abt him leaving me. i tot it was a sign to be
frens again. i attempted to
tok to him online, added him on
fb. guess
wat? i was being ignored and he
didn't accept the request to be
frens on
fb. from the few
convo that we had, he made me feel that hes not happy that i socialise more. b4 i decided to move on, he told me to go out n socialise more. i did. a
mth later when he found out that i have been socialising more he
didn't sound happy. i
didn't change.
number one: i will socialise if i think the group of
ppl is fun to hang out w. number two: i
didn't socialise as much last time because i wanted to spend more time w you. since i can only meet u in the weekends i would wan to try to complete my work in the weekdays
jus so to be w u. number three: i
have always wanted to lead so i took up the position of sports director. i admire you
alot for the amount of initiative and courage u
have as a trainee, leader whatever.
im proud of u.
i emailed him n told him that i understand that he
doesn't feel comfortable of being
frens and told him
abt the
msn n
fb thingy. he told me that he
didn't noe that i was being ignored. granted that that is a misunderstanding.
wat abt fb? why is it that you
don't dare to be honest w me? why do u
hav to accept me as a
fren on
fb to prove that i was wrong? is this another white lie? i rather you be frank w me.
i told him tat i am uncomfortable contacting him. i
duno hw long will i
tk to be able to click on him to
tok to him again. will i be able to do so when i am more stable or when all feelings are gone? honestly i
hav no idea. i guess it will
tk quite awhile for all to be
gonee. if its meant to be,
mayb mayb we'll be back
tgt againn. i highly doubt it judging on how things are now.its a pity but
theres nth i can do.
a
shoutout to my
frens! thanks for standing by me all these while!
agh,
bel is
doin a great job inn
tking care of me. she catches me when i fall. shes like my bf now.
lol. i do complain
alot abt her but i dun dislike her. i dun get angry for long. shes still my
bestie!(: thanks stupid
bel!
haha
Posted by van at 11:19 PM
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
all i want to do is to keep moving forward
Posted by van at 2:45 AM