Monday, June 22, 2009
school is starting in abt a mth's time and i so looking forward to it!im so sick of rotting at home!argg.i hav been a bum since my last paper and im soo sick of it. i hav enough break man! sham, im not very much of a bum as compared to u. i duno how u spent ur 3mths at home. hahaha!
alright, junior world cup has ended n im so upset cos that was wat i look forward to everyday!i get to meet wanting n she has endless updates for me abt her life. hahah. everytime i watched the teams play esp the Singapore team, i hav this surge of emotions drowning me. it made me wanna play high level hockey again. my heart wants to but my brain knows it is impossible w the standard of play that im portraying and the other priorities in life.right now, i wan to shine during the u21 tournament next yr. that is wat i wan to achieve. i noe it will not be easy w the pool of talents my team has. i will work hard for it. i will!
anw, i went picnic w yuehong, ceiline, weekiat n lilian last thurs at marina barrage!lilian n yuehong said im damn slow when i told them that coffee prince is nice!zz.this is not my fault that i missed out gd dramas alright?haha i was such a busy person!no1 can understand how busy i was except for some of dem.i guess i made up for it now!weeeeeeeeeeee!
recently, i feel like baking and mayb do a lil cooking at home. hahahaha.i hav no oven and im afraid no1 will hav the courage to try the food i cooked.lalala.oh ya im gonna save up for a watch that has stop watch!!hehe.
alright im goin to end here.evening has too many dramas to catch!
Posted by van at 6:25 PM
Monday, June 15, 2009
i cant say that im gettin on fine w me getting onto the emotional rollar coaster rather frequently these days. it was e worst today. zz. it is really difficult to get used to being a nobody to someone whom u shared ur 33mths w. its so abrupt and unreal. it jus felt like a dream. there was no prior notice that something was gona make it happen. there wasnt a sign. it is hard to get used to it and be comfortable w it.im sorry if im disappointing any of you. it is really tough.sigh
at times, i really hate him for being so cruel and probably rash? i hate him for making me believe that he wouldnt leave me. i was his number one since 5yrs ago. tell me how do i get used to this?
at times, i would jus want to respect his decision and continue being frens w him. i wan to be there for him as a fren like he always did when i left him.
at times, i feel that my heart and brain are gonna explode that i wan to stop this. i wan to stay away from him. i jus wan to hide in my lil corner.
it is really frustrating that i wana scream!!!!!!i know i wan to be there for him whenever he needs a listening ear. i know i dun hate him. im jus very upset that im hurting so much. im upset that he no longer care as much. im no longer 1st in his heart.i hav learn to ignore those thoughts and feelings that make me sad. i hav to learn to accept that i cant expect as much from him as before. i need to get used to it.
I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS AND I SWEAR I WILL NOT BELIEVE ANYONE EASILY. try killing urself to convince me that u are for real then mayb i will believe.
Posted by van at 12:38 AM
Monday, June 08, 2009
THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE NEVER DID RUN SMOOTH
-William Shakespeare
how true is that?
alright everyone, this space needs some update. i hav been pretty alright for the time that i went missing. there were a few downs as i jus broke up. there were times that i was reminded that i am all by myself now and that someone important had left me. it is not like im still crying every now n then because of it. it is jus that im vulnerable at times like these.
on a lighter note, i caught the girl and hello miss. hahaha. yes i immensed myself w such romance-comedy dramas again. i love them. there are times that u laugh heartedly, cry and being anxious!it is really exciting. hahaha. im weird i noe. zz. anw we are allowed to plan our time-table. i hav trouble inputing the 3rd prescribed elective. hmmm.. i wan to tk korean n biz finance! i need to find the 3rd unrestricted elective. im thinking of a math module. im still wondering if i should minor in math. ahhhh. sian. where is the math major guyyyyyy!!!! he is not online these days!damn!
oh ya i hav nth else to blog so BYE
Posted by van at 11:08 PM