Monday, December 26, 2011
Things go completely out of control only when we allow it to do so by being a complete wreck. I guess we all need to find that cool in dealing things that cropped up from nowhere. Such incidences would definitely throw us off the path but if we allow it to eat into us, We are essentially permitting it to go complete haywire.
Posted by van at 8:42 PM
I like how things are between us. Always open to discussion etc. it definitely decreases conflict, argument. I hope this will go on. Heh. Anw we exchanged our birthday present alr! I tot he was getting me clothes. That pig. Ticked mex he first gave me earphones and I tot that was the gift that he wanna give me. After I gave him his, he said oops I forgot and reached inside his cupboard from a black paper bag. Yes, that's right that's my actual birthday gift. Fn stupid right that pig! Hahahah. Thankful for him. I am blessed (:
Posted by van at 1:23 PM
I feel that if something were to happen, it would be no matter what. Don't be so petty, insecure and let
Things happen natuarally.
Posted by van at 7:59 AM
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Did so much more prep and yet my results still cui. Super sian. Sigh. I tot this would be the sem to pull my gpa up apparently not. Zzz..
Posted by van at 9:48 PM
I was all hyped up to post sth happy. I'm not now. I want to be stronger. I have to be stronger. I shouldn't let myself fall just last time. No.. I can't afford to do so. I can't stop things from making me feel weak so the only way to circumvent is to be stronger. I will be.
Posted by van at 9:45 PM
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
my last year in hall, my last year to get a shot at the ihg gold medal. do i want it? why arent i trying hard enough? even if i dont want it, i still have to think abt my team mates right? how can i be so selfish and crush their dreams, hope like this? i need to toughen up. no giving up on the pitch. no ball watching.
Posted by van at 7:07 PM
Friday, December 09, 2011
I think it's because tat I am insecure that I am acting this way. It's not that I don't trust him not he doesn't assure me. It's just me. I'm afraid. I am the biggest stumbling block. I need to overcome myself.
I'm sorry sweetheart:x
Posted by van at 11:23 PM
Saturday, December 03, 2011
alright, i hav alr sat for the last paper that i take as an undergraduate! i have graduated unofficially! WHEEE!insomnia hit me last night. hell terrible:( only managed to fall aslp 3ish and woke up at 7. awake till NOWWW. lol. im a superwoman! haha.
3.5 years in ntu has been rather a ride. i went to the school attached and leaving the school attached but with a different guy. i saw myself crumble in the first year and was on an emotional roller coaster in the subsequent years. when i stopped hoping and had resigned to fate, he appeared in my final year. i think he is the best gift that ntu has given me. haha. sometimes im afraid that i have fallen too deep, too fast :x when im alone, the previous relationship trauma would remind me once in a while that i shouldnt think that we would hav a future together:x when im with him, he kinda reassures me with his actions. sometimes im afraid that i appear to be too needy etc that he might not like it. LOL. shit. where is the cool me.tskk. i dont how this would be, but all i wanna say is that im really glad to have met u and proud to hav u as my bf. u are really an awesome bf(: (sometimes i feel that i said this too many times that it has lost its meaning and is annoying:( but this is really how i feel and i suck at keeping my feelings. maybe i should refrain from expressing my feeling, thoughts etc:x)
heh. enough of praising that stupidboy. let me go on with my rather eventful day today. i went back home tgt with him to meet my family. i was surprised to see so many of them at home and soooo many gifts for me from US! wahahahaha. im super super happy. i have a brand new makeup set! yayyyness. we had a mini birthday celebration for my ah ma too cos i didnt attend the birthday celebration that was held abt two weeks ago. im glad that my ah ma likes the durian cake and i think shes rather pleased w my bf. at least she doesnt think that hes mcp! heh. but she did warn me abt the possibility of him changing his heart after i enter the workforce while hes still in sch. i guess it bound to happen theres no way we can stopped it right? anw i guess the meeting was alright and he finds my ah ma cute. LOL.
later in the night, there was an impromptu meeting with my BFFs. it was super rather and we had full attendance! i think we are beginning to get closer all because of the constant bullshitting on whatsapp! HAHA. but im really enjoying myself with them be in on whatapp or hanging out with them! im really happy to have them as my BFF till now! its been close to a decade! i used to think that im not needed and thus drift away from them intentionally but aft i broke up in year one, i realised that they were there for me. im also used to telling them every single thing about me because they are opened to me too. we talk abt which guy we have crush on, our progress with them, our encounters with the weirdos in our daily environment etc. we gonna have slumber party on new year's eve and they are gonna wat hav a shuffling competition!-.- i need to youtube! LOL. dies. i suck at this. can i withdraw from this and join u girls again aft that? LOL.
okay i think i should slp so that i can accompany my grandmother to the doc tml. nights world!<3
Posted by van at 3:04 AM