Thursday, August 31, 2006
i tot i cld hide.i tot i cld stop crying.i cldnt i cant stop crying.i vomited in sch.i was so happpy when i received his msg.i wana c him.i tink i wld end up crying in his arms.
it reali doesnt feel good.it jus hurts soo much.he has always been the one der for me.now tat he's gone wwho do i turn to?im reali depend on him..
we r supposed to be in tis tgt.
we r supposed to stay strong tgt
imsry.it jus hurts so much so noe tat u r no longer mine.
Posted by van at 4:17 PM
hello!!
we broke up last nite cos he said he doesnt hav the time for me n it's not the way to treat a gf by neglecting her.
it hurts!it does.i cry like nobody's business.mum came in twice asking me wat happen.i told her we broke up n she wanted to noe y.i was so vex tat i chased her out.i dun wana a brkup.all i wan is we tink of ways to resolve tis bt he chose to escape.he said he wants to bring me out during the weekends bt he cant.i told him tat being tgt is not abt watching lots of movies or shopping trips.being tgt is to be each other's support, pillar of strength in times of need.being tgt is abt overcoming obstacle tgt.bt he chose to escape.he said he feels bad neglecting me.it has beame a burden for him.i've said if it is a burden to him i wld rather leave him.
den now wat m i complaining?y m i unhappy?it hurts so much to noe tat he's no longer mine.i guess wat reali triggered tis is when he told me tat he's goin to join the nite study in sch which means we wun study tgt on the weekdays anymre.my world was upside dwn upon hearing.bcos i noe i wld be seeing less of him.it jus doesnt feel gd.
meet him last nite n i refused to tel him wat has happened.he walked me to the bus stop n i boarded the bus.i felt tat i owe him an explanation n it's not the way in a relationship to kip everytin to urself.i alighted at the next stop wanting to tok to him bt he's gone.his sis saw him so he had to go hm.i walked hm alone tat nite wif tears streaming dwn.
it hurts when he said tat y is it tat everytime i finally hav u i lose grip.realise tat im a big fool.it hurts it hurts so much.i realised hw much pain ive inflicted on him.i keep hurting him.i hurt him thrice.i left him cos of another guy.is this retribution?i guess it is.i din realise tat he has the qualities tat i wan in my bf.i guess i was immature den.is it too late to realise it?
i cldnt slp.i oni slp for 3hrs.i woke up n i started crying all over again.it jus hurts soo much.i always thought tat he din realise tat he's neglecting me.all i wanted was to make him realise n tink of solutions bt nt jus ending tis like tat.now tat i noe he has been trying v hard not to neglect me, im all set to overcome tis wif him.nw im waiting for him to be rdy for it cos he feels bad neglecting me.how i waish i can tk away all his guilt.
iloveutoomuchtoletugocosimtoodependonu
Posted by van at 6:15 AM
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
everting has ended.dun ask dun ask.........
Posted by van at 11:28 PM
i finally noe why my fren finds it soo hard to let go.the love they shared is AMAZING!im serious.im not bull shitting.i havent met couple like dem.i havent experienced it myself.i would love to bt who will my partner be?my current bf?i duno.now, things between us arent tat good.
dun wana tok abt my lousy relatioship.hmm..the both of dem msged EVERYDAY.they were vvv swit to each other.i said swit n i mean REAL SWIT.content will always be like u look great today.i miss u, switheart.im happy to hav u wif me.my fren revealed tat when dey meet each other, dey r REALI REALI HAPPY.no matter how often dey meet, it stil feels like the 1st time.dey were tgt for mre tahn 2yrs!c'mon.it's tat long n it stil feels like the 1st time.how many ppl get to experience tat?
my current sittuation is tat he doesnt hav time for me at all.we seldom msg, dun tok on phone.tat's it.can say is ZERO communication.i noe he loves me.we used to tok cock alot while smsing bt now nt.i guess when ppl ask me if i hav a bf i wld pause awhile to tink n ask myself if i reali hav 1.i noe he will nv come here cos he hates reading blog n he prefers me to tel him everytin.i dun wan.stress is sth tat i dun wana give u.mayb i shldnt be involved in any relationship.im guess im not a understanding gf aftall.
Posted by van at 7:52 PM
Monday, August 28, 2006
i felt like puking TIS WHOLE DAY!i can assure NO1 wldnt wan to go thru it:x i was like that during the weekends bt it wasnt as serious s today.no matter wat, i stil had a HORRIBLE weekends!
alrite,alrite, enuff of the complaining.i had compre test today.as usual, i din complete the paper.wat's new for me ah?at least i felt much better aft i fin it as compared to the last one i did which is during CT((: im not saying tat im soo gona score tis time.i jus felt better.TAT'S ALL.i wun n nv will i score.c'mon, it's GP.vanessa will nv score for GP!!
i reali do hope tat u r tking it well.i promise u tat nth has changed.u can stil ask me out for movies(jus the both of us), tok to me when u r bored, play online pool, ask me out to mug........n the list goes on n on n on.tat's my promise to u as a fren((:
Posted by van at 7:07 PM
Saturday, August 26, 2006
bOOoo!!he hates the idea of me blogging.he sadi it's a waste of time.I DUN CARE..he's goin DINNER wif his family now.haha.DINNER?? yes, dinner!!!hahahah..tat pig.frens of mine kip asking me to treasure him n not to hurt him again.yes, i wun hurt him again.i'll kip tis relationship going even though it might be tough.y dom i say it's tough?my dearest is busy 24/7!!in dec holidays, he wld be busy doin his psa n trng 4 the nx season.i'll be nice n wait.bOoo
if by doin tis has hurt u, im sorry.u left me hanging n i did not noe wat u wan.i chose to forget u cos i dun wan to hurt myself anymre.yes, i stil feel for u.a lil part of me stil likes u bt i wun n i shldnt be turning bac.im not gonna let my boy dwn again.u'll find a beta gal.i noe u will.fren always..bye, bballer((:
Posted by van at 11:14 PM
Friday, August 25, 2006
YEA!!it's finally done!!hahahaha...nice??hahaha..i promised to complete it n i did.((:
promos is coming.im not prepared as u can c it spent my time doing making a nice n beautiful skin.lalalala..i dun care wat u guys tink.i tink tis skin is GREAT.
pics of frens i miss n frens whom i relied on when i breakdwn in sch.
my team RJ.my team mates who hav made tis yr's A div so complete.we had tears n joy tgt.yep.let's work hard for promos n aft tat trng hard for the next season.
my squad mates!!i miss u guys soo much.u guys hav always made milo cup enjoyable n memorable.i seriius miss trng n having dinner wif u guys!
bel, i healed fast becos i hav great frens around me.when i felt upset u n chiawyee were der for me.u hav great frens who are willing to hlp u thru tis so dun giv up.u hav got to move on.i love u babe
when i was reali upset n stuff u were der.my frens were the ones der for me.they told me to forget u.on the surface, i looked like i hav given u up bt inside i was praying n hoping u wld say sth, u wld read my msges in my draft.eva since tat day u held my hand, i saved a lot of msges.i was hoping tat u wld read dem someday.i waited.i reali did bt u din read my msges in the draft..
u nv knew how much u hav hurt me aft u held my hand n said nth abt it.
Posted by van at 9:24 PM
Thursday, August 24, 2006
i duno wat to say nw.i fear the future.i reali do.i've been in a relationship for soo mani times.bt...i duno why m i feeling tis way when it has jus started.i dun wan to be a burden to him so i've decided not to tel him hw i feel.
sigh.i feel so insignificant.
Posted by van at 6:11 PM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
im soo supposed to be studying.i edited my bloggyskin in the end!damn!it's not completed tho.i cant waste anymre time!!!!AHHHHHHHH.i shall continue on fri or sth.yep
Posted by van at 9:22 PM
Monday, August 21, 2006
OMG!! I SAW MY FRENS!!AHHHH!!!
tis morning when i was on my dad's bike, qing msged me!!she saw me!tat's not all.right aft i hav reply her, I SAW SHAM!!! hahaha!! qing asked me out to mug wif serene, bryan and sham.yay! bryan came to my hse 1st as he was stil early. chatted a lil. sham joined us aft her trng.stayed awhile n we decided to leave as it's getting late.aft sham n i hav parted with qing n serene, we SAW WENDE!!his hair is bac to normal!!i kinda hugged him tho!omg!!i reali miss dem!wende was happy to c as too.so happy tat he decided to send ask home!!
today is a GREAT DAY!
vanessa is happy((:
love dem all!
Posted by van at 11:45 PM
Friday, August 18, 2006
i noe i havent been blogging.HAHA!!!i have been insanely BUSY WIF SCH!promos is coming!!!omg!!arg.im soo behind lah!!sosososo much of work to do.sosososo much to mug!!!my H2 chem is as thick s my chem notes in sec sch!!
im goin to giv the bbq tml a miss.i need to buck up.my econs.
OHYA! I LOST MY SUPER EX CALCULATOR, GC!!!
DAMN!!:'(
i miss my idiot frens!!we shall go bac to sec sch on teachers' day celebration!!!rmb we always spot for our senior on tat day?it's our turn to be spotted bt our juniors!!
loves((:
Posted by van at 5:23 PM
Friday, August 11, 2006
some fren of mine asked me if i stil like him.when i heard tat qn, i laughed!it has been soo long.i've long forgotten him..gone foreva..it has been far too long.nv hav i liked a guy for sooo long til i met him.hahahah..((:
Posted by van at 10:31 PM
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
i love tis week.lots of holidays.bt...i hav lots of stuff to do.sigh.time is nv enuff for me.arg.i jus came bac from my fren's hse.he invited the cls over 4 his bday celebration.26/28 turned up.((:
i'll post some pics up aft bel has sent me.yep
ciaos
Posted by van at 12:03 AM
Saturday, August 05, 2006
i havent been blogging.hahh.i've been LAZY!oops.
mre n mre work im soo freaking tired of dem.lalalalaa.im bored.i jus woke up.130.yep.i was soo tired last nite.i went to watch 4 nations ytd.
bb won the ihc.YAY!bt........dey said tat tis ihc isnt counted?it is a trial for the real one!damn.i guess it wld most probably exclude the j2s tis yr.DAMN.bb's track wil jus DIE!:(
i made a fool out of myself during the track meet.i participated in 2oom and 4by100m.i fell dwn rite at the start of the race!so malu.got up n ran.hahaha.it was soo slippery!it rained b4 the race started.b4 the race, i was alr tinking tat i wd fall n i DID.hahahah.arg.no1 had actually noticed it tho.(:
2nd for 4 by 100m.i was the 3rd runner.omg.i reali love being the 3rd runner!lalalala.stupid ppl like ian n bahvan said im slowest tat's y im 3rd runner.damndamn.lalalala.it's jus sooo fun being thne 3rd runner!YAY!i din hav any problem passing the baton to mus!we din practice.GREAT TEAM WORK!wAHhahAAHA..
i owe lai shi TWO compo!:(
ciao
Posted by van at 1:43 PM